


Blessed Be The Mother Of The Feral Goblin Children (she who does not get paid enough for this)

by Zechres



Category: Bakugan Battle Brawlers
Genre: (like posting abandoned wips), Being Alice Is Suffering, Gen, Ive Gotten Much Sexier Since This, Lync Hates Earth, Lync Swears A lot, This Is Not An Example Of Might Writing Skils, Toaster Mistreatment, i just typod my as might nvm im a faliure, i was going through my wips and refound this one, im unable to finish it now so im just gonna post it, this fandom is dead and i can do what i want, this is about 2 or 3 years old now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 11:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zechres/pseuds/Zechres
Summary: Alice might be stuck babysitting Lync while he's on Earth, but that doesn't mean he's gonna make it easier on her! He can take care of himself! Just you watch!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Blessed Be The Mother Of The Feral Goblin Children (she who does not get paid enough for this)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cjr09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjr09/gifts).

Earth fucking sucked. 

Lync hated it. It was wet, and covered in 'snow', and the people spoke a stupid, impossible to learn language with a stupid, ridiculous alphabet, and there were animals everywhere. Where was the extensive, uninhabitable dry land? The underground cities? The flesh craving monsters? Well, he supposed humans could be considered those, but humans fucking sucked, and Lync hated them, too, so they didn't count.

The only similarity Vestal had to Earth was the Bakugan, which had left 3 years ago, and royalty, which just made everything worse.

Gods, why did he come here again? So he could spy on Spectra and Gus' ugly asses? They wouldn't even be able to do anything here, and would've just ended up sucking face the whole time anyways, and Lync would've had nightmares from it, and they fucking left him here alone after the first 20 fucking minutes, and he passed up his chance to spy on the Brawlers for no reason, and Hydron was going to be _ so pissed _ when he got back.

Lync glared at the toaster in front of him. Even the way people cooked food on Earth was stupid. Why didn't they just set it on fire a little bit? That was so much easier.

The toaster chimed, and the toast popped out. 

It didn't come out far enough to grab with his hands.

Lync flipped the toaster. And he shook it. Viciously.

"Let out my food, shitty cooking apparition! Release your prey! I'm eating that, not you!!"

The bread didn't come out.

"I've killed monsters hundreds of sizes bigger than you!! And they shot lasers at me!! And had acid breath!! And smelled worse than _ Shadow _!! You're nothing to me!!"

The toaster did not quiver to Lync's greatly fearful and mighty escapades. So he started screaming, bashing the toaster against the countertop a few times, and turned his hands to sharp, sharp claws, deciding to grab the toast by digging them into the evil contraption and pulling it from its muzzle. Gods, he was _ so _cool and smart.

Alice screeched.

...Oops.

"Lync, what are you doing!? Why do your hands look like that!?" Alice looked horrified. Lync wasn't sure why, until he remembered humans were pathetic meatbags, who couldn't turn into cool demon birds (like him!), and her tiny world view was probably being flipped. Sucks to suck!

"I was trying to get food from your stupid bread heater, but it decided to eat it instead! So now I'm punishing it!" Lync crowed, hands distorting further until they were unrecognizable as anything but sharp, deadly weapons, and wiggling them into the toaster. Almost there! He could reach it, but he just couldn't pull it out! Maybe if he pulled out from the bottom?

"Lync, no! You'll get electrocuted if you stick your hand in there!" Alice jumped at Lync, trying to wrestle his claws away from the devil machine, screaming more stupid human nonsense. A shitty bread cooker couldn't do anything to him! It couldn't even make his bread properly! And what did 'electrocuted' even mean? Stupid human words.

Lync jumped onto the counter top, standing out of Alice's reach, and stuck his tongue at her, before jamming his claws all the way into the toaster so he could pull the bread out.

"Haha, stupid Alice! Just because I'm smarter than you and thought of a new way to get out my bread when it's stuck doesn't mean you have to sabot- urk!"

Well, maybe Alice was right this one time.

But, really, how was Lync suppose to know sticking sharp things into a toaster was a bad idea? 

He should've been warned!

* * *

"Aww, Alice, why do I have to wear this stupid coat?" Lync whined, pulling at the thick sleeves and hood fluff that threatened to suffocate him. 

"We're going out shopping, Lync," Alice said, pulling out some mittens and handing them to him. "Since you destroyed my toaster, I need to buy a new one, and we're running low on groceries anyway."

"It's not my fault the stupid thing stole my food and attacked me!" Lync pouted, looking at the mittens with disgust. Ugh, how was he supposed to defend himself from attacks if he had these stupid things covering up his cool claws? Alice knew now, so it's not like he needed to hide them! 

Alice glared at him.

Fine! Jeez, he'll put them on and die when someone tries to knife him and he can't fight back because his claws are wrapped up in a pussy babies blanket!

"Lync, you should have come to me and asked how to get the toast out when it's stuck. Instead of bashing the toaster against the wall." 

"It deserved it! But why does that mean I have to come with you?" Lync crossed his arms, annoyed now. This was dumb! "I can just stay here!"

"Um, no." Alice didn't even pause to think about it. Wow, rude. "I don't trust you here without supervision, especially not after you flooded the bathroom, and Grandfather is going to be in his workshop all day trying to fix the Teleporter. So you're coming with me."

And so he did! With great distaste, dragging his feet through the snow (and falling flat on his face, because there was so much of it he _ had _to lift his feet).

Fwomp! Flomp! Plaf!

Lync yelled in frustration and flailed his arms in the air as he fell into the snow for the _ third time _.

“This is impossible!” Lync pouted, and crossed his arms. “I’m not moving anymore and you can’t make me!” 

Alice looked at him. And sighed. And tried to pick him up.

Uh, no, that’s not happening.

Lync fought back with the great skill of the underground street fighting god he was!

He kneed Alice powerfully in the chest, totally not by accident while he was flailing wildly, and she dropped him, stumbled a bit, and fell right on top of him.

Now it was Lyncs turn to scream.

Actually flailing around now, Lync accidentally threw a handful of snow right in Alice’s face.

She lets out a short, startled shriek, and manages to get herself untangled, and sits in the snow for a brief moment, just looking at him, and Lync experiences profound worry for the first time in years.

And then she grins, and throws a handful of snow square into his face before throwing herself up and away from him, tearing off in a stumbling run.

“Hey! What the hell was that!” Lync shouts after her, dumbfounded.

She pauses, a few feet away, and turns back around, still grinning, and throws another snowball into Lyncs face.

“Bet you can’t get me!” Alice shouts, before running off again.

“Coward! Get back here!” Lync yells in return, still confused, but refusing to let her get away without his just revenge, scoops up some of the gross Earth snow, and throws it towards Alice’s laughing, retreating figure.

**Author's Note:**

> a bit of an abrupt end, here, but my writing style is so different from this now that I cant continue it. but I liked it when I wrote it years ago, so I thought Id let yall experience it too. who knows, I might make this a one shot series some day


End file.
